Little more ripples!!
Life certainly takes an kick start for a roller coaster ride and teenage is one such time where your mind is like an time bomb and your surroundings are like landmines, views and expectations give you high time, there is total cold and open war inside you. Life gets more exciting on its own way, an heady cocktail that can make you forget oneself! The metamorphosis into adolescence is itself a gamut of subconscious fears, mysterious doubts,needs and expectations from all the outside world. Every now and then u stand at the crossroads of decision making and everything influences the whole unseen future.
And that is exactly what happens to Usha, at her ripe 14 ½ age, whose life until then revolves around her too much caring working parents, adorable big brother, her one and only friend and her deep love for books and puzzles. Her biggest gamble of life starts when she enters her teens and she discovers that in the game of life, destiny is the ultimate arena and emotions rule and count. Overall it is fun, fast and funny.
It was the last period of the day and the whole library looked deserted except few morons like me still lingering around or dig deep inside books which a girl or boy of my age would feel a taboo to even to stay back in such hours. It seems the whole of my class left to the playground where I had no idea what was going on. I was busy noting points from a thickly binded book, and few telephone directory replica like books were shattered all around the table. It was mid January afternoon and the whole school was assembled in the playground to cheer for the school cricket match against another school. Thud thud thud…. Hey Ushaaaaaa… … Ushaaaa.. Ms. Usha Raju, class 10 B(announcement in the mike) with that loud call, the much serene climate suddenly changed into acoustic beat and brought me back out from the content.
Shhhhhh… chup chup chup!!... with my animated gestures and mixed expressions of irritation and surprise I shooed Ragini De’silva aka. rags. Rags an healthy(she would kill me if I call her fatso!!) little above average looking, hyper active, half south Indian friend of mine. Actually only friend of mine!!
Been a new girl for this year, with no clear idea of what set of students I am going to meet in this 5th school of mine, after changing 4 others schools and places. Dad’s transfers hardly gave me to keep an constant rapport with friends (No regrets though) Rags happened as little weird option altogether but overall she is harmless and with her “half wanna hip look and half “o im the adorable among the girls sort of expressions” I managed to stick with her. She had the need to make a new friend (girl friend more precisely)as in her at a stretch 10 years in this school did gave her few gud brothers( she has declared half of my class boys are her brothers coz they all fall either little younger to her or too much out of her understanding?) and many ignorers. She was a complete package of tips/rules ,some made by her for others, some by her for her and one and only one for ALL by ALL… AN STANDARD RULE!!
Been a new girl for this year, with no clear idea of what set of students I am going to meet in this 5th school of mine, after changing 4 others schools and places. Dad’s transfers hardly gave me to keep an constant rapport with friends (No regrets though) Rags happened as little weird option altogether but overall she is harmless and with her “half wanna hip look and half “o im the adorable among the girls sort of expressions” I managed to stick with her. She had the need to make a new friend (girl friend more precisely)as in her at a stretch 10 years in this school did gave her few gud brothers( she has declared half of my class boys are her brothers coz they all fall either little younger to her or too much out of her understanding?) and many ignorers. She was a complete package of tips/rules ,some made by her for others, some by her for her and one and only one for ALL by ALL… AN STANDARD RULE!!
Overall this Ms. Chaotic-clumsy-confused always took the privilege of bringing me back from my land of books and puzzles with her wits and entries. So as if now she took the award again, she pushed herself towards me and asked me what I was doing in the library when the whole school was cheering for the cricket match which was going on just behind the library.
Rags, u forgot? House event? (mine was Raman house out of other 3 houses)I shrugged. Essay writing right??? OOOO noo is it so..?? Rags and her OOO holy crap! type of expression made me laugh out..,, hahahaha (just trying hard to stop my laugh with my hand) So any hopes from your side? I asked… Rags leave it.. let me do this time.. you just need to give your name and forget it altogether. This competation would pull us to 1st place!! I said with little expectation that she would understand what I was going through been the Leader of my house. “Come on Daa… Usha… u know it’s so fun out to be in the ground, Rags in her nonstop voice she was giving me all the running commentary of what was happening out there (though it was mostly about who the players are and who would be MAN OF THE MATCH(it means macho!! to match her greedy eyes).
Arey yaar. .. Chal naa…Kya maza araha… aur tuu hein ki… Jab dekhoo House score ki peeche lagi rahathi hein… Chill and u still got whole 2 more years of your captaincy( I really wished I could complete the rest of my schooling in this new school!!) She nagged me like anything and she succeed in breaking my concentration (like Menaka did to Viswamitra). By the time we reached the ground, match was about to over and the whole crowd were roaring. She pulled me fast and I have to literally run with her to see what she wanted me to see. Though I never understood what she actually wanted me to see!!( Who else.. THE ONE AND ONLY OPPOSITE GENDER and it is… THE BOYS!!) The crowd both from my school and the other school students were cheering and some yelling with enthusiasm, overall it is a confused affair for me as I don’t even know which of them were my school players and other school players. Everyone in white n white , though from far I could see a tall, lean guy in white n white soiled uniform who was jumping like an lunatic, flinging himself around and pumping his fists like an animal, the other side of the players looked little depressed and with no hopes to make an good win. The last bell rang and I had no clue what this whole so called maza(I was not an avid cricket lover) is , I rushed to get my bag and left premises to wait for my dad’s pickup.
The next day after the assembly, it was trophy distribution to all the players of my school who did gave an wonderful attempt. The match was a draw. I could just recognize one or two boys from that group and one was Parthamesh Iyyar(of class 11 and my senior and the most common face for many other academical events, ofcourse the most wanted chap for the chickens!!) and the other one who used to come to my tuition . By the time all the players were awarded I was almost busy in re-reading the news bulletin for my junior who was to read out the news as per my House activity and giving finishing touches to her loosely made hair ribbon.( We do get House score for uniform too!!) By then the whole celebration part was over and I stepped down to connect to my line. The dias was over crowded , my attention carried away with Tanga Vel, the only short, stocky south Indian boy from my class trying to gesture me, while pushing back his big thick glassed spectacles, and Subhamithra Roy (one of the lousiest girl I know)urf Shubu’s convulsion which is turning into an frequent event these days finally made me lose my attention towards the dias. Shubu stands just before me in the assembly line, so it was my duty to give her assistance, take her back to the class though many a times she did let me go saying that she is fine. The day ended little boring and little greasily except that Col. Sir who gave out the list of cadets participating for the republic day parade, Essay writing was cancelled, but by then I gathered enough information on the given topic: “Youth and their role in the society”
"Li've life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."
The Hot News:
Feb 1:
Recess always gave me enough time (only if Rags would leave me to have some piece of peace around) to finish off writing mail to Ranjan, it’s been one week and I was trying hard to wind it up. My habit of writing letter (booklet of max10-12 pages) always surprised Rags and rest of my class as I was neither too talkative nor too much involved with the real world. “The word that is heard perishes, but the letter that is written remains.” I used to give an philosophical comment to their arguments. What so ever, to whom ever I used to write they would surely have a gala time in going through whatever was happening around me, family, mostly about the school activities, what we did all the week and all sort of kiddish details. This time I was really missing Ranjan and Bhaiyya.
The class sounded chaotic, The Bong girls’ gang were all gathered at one end sharing their new Elle 18 nail paint, for every 10 minutes “Oh maa” Naaa Re” with loud giggles were heard, the guys were running hither-thither , Snehal was busying eyeing Rupesh while he was busy making pass at every other girl who was passing the entrance. I Was watching the amusement and writing it off in the letter. Although I was busy I still managed myself to be little alert coz Rags would make rushing entry anytime and start her kacha kach(spicy, peppy, juicy and wat not.. though most of the time it sounds senseless!!) news that she has gathered in her campus round up just by the end of recess. The thought of Rags and here she is… running, huffing, and with something she calls HOT NEWS. We need to talk.. Ushaaaa ,WE NEED TO TALK.. are u coming out with me…?? Rags tell me what is it..with least curiosity I asked. WE NEED TO GO OUT .Chalo… buss chaloo…. She pushed all my stuff as if they were some garbage into my bag and we rushed out. I could sense the Bong gang (Rumpa, shubu, Noni, madhumitha, epshitha,Onu) gave me a strange look that something was cooking around… Rags elbow-kicked Rupesh to make way.
HOT NEWSssss”… rags eyes became more wide and scary! I just came out of the wash room and …”so dats the news??!!” I interrupted her with disgusting expression. Chup.. yaar.. listen. I just came out of wash room and guess what I heard when I was in the Loo?? I think it’s our seniors... by the voice I m damn sure it Payal didi (class 12 ‘s SPL) and her gang. They were discussing about the who is who and who are going to make this year’s hot twosome…. I have no idea what Rags was talking about as the whole blah blah of her s was total out of my understanding. What twosome? Did’nt they know you were there? “ Now listen to real part”, rags brushed aside my query and was in her full tune. You know they were taking your name. OO Jezz.. Ur are such lucky lass.The senior girls are talking about your chance that how many may turn to you with roses on 13th this month… Rags was mumbling something, but I have to really make her stop coz im not able to understand what she was blabbering about.
Ok now it is like… This is the time you should be knowing that Our great school with still more great students come and study and pass out from here, but in btw come here and pass out from here they have to pass one more important test which only is applicable for students of 10th -12th. The test day falls on every Feb 13,the day where interested boys can propose to their so called interested ladies… with red roses. OK, then?(I was still not sure where this is going to end and why my name was into this) .This is the time when the so called infatuation needs to be answered or left for time to answer…. Once the rose goes, it’s the girl’s choice to decide if she is in for that guy or out… I could clearly read Rags expressions as some old woman who have seen all the years run before her eyes and she is just narrating all that. Rags… so what’s the big deal… I will take the rose.. happily coz its just a rose anyways… And why my name??? (I was quite assured that nobody would like or even think about to give me rose as i think I was never in the visible list of guys or may be I was underestimating!) Hahhha what just a rose!.. and u will accept it .. Seems you don’t know what it is for? Rags gave me a “ooo hello grow up” sort of look. The one who gets the rose have to accept their proposal too!! What proposal? I asked with my head tilted side wards. Did you heard of V-DAY? (Valantine’s day, the day when the whole world would go head and heels to be in their lover’s presence)On Feb 14th? Rags was getting annoyed with my innocent questions. Well, err.. hmmm a bit.. I mumbled. Whoever gets the rose have to decide whom she has to go on DATE on FEB 14th, on or before the last bell. But what if(this time I was talking clearly keeping rags in mind that she may be getting enough roses) someone gets more than 3 or so flowers, how shall she able to convey, I asked as if this was some impossible equation. She just have to give that interesting expression while taking the rose, dats it.. He will understand he is the blessed one!! I am still not convinced, and the hour bell rang, we left to our class and respective seats.
Rags words were ringing throughout the period and I was not able to concentrate as the whole affair just sounded total filmy and flimsy
After the last bell, I was waiting for dad and Rags just sat next to me on the concrete bench and she finally opened out the STANDARD RULE.
“STANDARD RULE”: A senior can date/go out/hangout or whatever with a girl or boy of his/her class, his/her junior But not suppose to go with a junior of their same age. Now lets take some X boy of 16 or so age cannot go with Y girl of his same age though his/her Junior. This was something Absurd, Who ever made it are really mad.. this is complete crap… 1st of all this whole date thing is nonsense, and on this there are rules and..aa “standard rule” Rags added with sarcastic expression. Though this situation is little rare but it is this way here… Crap,Now.. how about you.. are n’t you not thinking about this.. coz as you said class 10 is officially given the veto power. Hmm that’s a big story.. leave me aside coz I don’t fall for our school guys…(though I know she admires someone from class 11 and he happens to be her age 15 ½ !!) I never knew age plays such crap into still more crappy issues like DATING… any ways im out of it… and please don’t give me any further details about it. Dad’s car honk brought us out of the topic.
Chalking out the chances:
Feb 2:
Some how Rags did made me come to her terms(She always does!). Though initially I was reluctant to give an ear, slowly interest rose in me with her way of wild guesses of who can make out this year… chalking out chances. When we were drawing the possibilities, there is a need to know how TWOSOME are fixed!!
Overall Bong girls, the super ultra beauties always in close proximity with the other Bong boys especially to those whose parents are either working in my school or they are already family friends. Robindranath Shongeeth always binds their chords and leave few chances for other groups to pick these Bong Shonparis
The local girls (preferably stunning to goodlooking) would always go out with someone who does not belong to this place(for surety of security!) as most of my class local girls have either their brothers or sisters in the same school.
The loud, hefty extrovert Punjabi girls were always an eye candy for the entire school though my class falls little deficit to call any of them, except for the twin duo Dolly and rolly.
Comes the Southies, good looking- decent watchout (as per my view) We are in minimum ratio with Maximum attention seeking. Call it in House events, music, classical dance, academics(mostly for proficiency in subjects, seminars, science and maths quizzes) and least in sports(except Parthamesh Iyyar), so whomever we pick it should be from our cult(The genius cult) Me and Rags(though she actually does not carry all the required traits to be called as typical south girl) from my class.
Left out are the Babus, Sharmas’, vermas’ and prasads’ to whom we mostly connect very rarely as they almost made their own world of intellectuals, juvenile politicians or mostly found either in Sports and debates. Girls and guys are pretty active in their own niche from conservative to full term modern views. But there is a slim chance for someone to hit them.Any chance can be counted so are they.
The best part of our school culture was even after so many diversities/madness/stupid rules, we all stand united when it comes to school pride and honor. We all become one with no boundaries when we represent our school. Our school was a mini nation in itself with loads of love and care for fellow student, and my class grabs almost 50% of that so called love and care or rather attention even after so many diversities and glam sham.
I took a heavy breath and stared at the school premises and felt so happy that I was part of it, OOO hello Usha… come back.. im saying something.. and I have to heed back into her conversation.
Now lets decide whom we can fix up or give that so called “I have blessed you my boy oo Opps My man “ sort of look on Feb 13th(rose day). Rags “is this really so important coz we are here to study and not to be part of something which we are not” I paused and gave an it’s your turn look “You do your calculations, rags. I think you better ask Prathamesh or hey isn’t there anyone else from our adda?(With Prathamesh in lead I almost forget about Tunga vel from my own class!)
Rags did gave me a wary look. ”Usha , my Darling, you are not getting the point , it is you who have made into the hit list, that too been a new girl! Can you believe it?! You almost made a history !! and more over stop saying that you are the invisible… When some senior girl says this it means you are almost on to the Oomph meter(?) OOO now don’t start what it means.I tried to stop her. Now taking into the scenario that Parathamesh and his present girl friend Ms. Mayuri Natrajan(his classmate and a perfect southy , a complete control freak) is soon to be dropped out like a hot potato any time, guys and girls have to swap for new partner every year or else there are possibilities that this couple may go further. How further? I asked with stern look. They may end up as life time partners just at the age of 20 or so… OO so early?? Ya by doing this they think they have solemnized their love which they have started with this simple formality of dating on V-day. So now tell me.. Are you up for Parathamesh? The Mr. right for not so sure Ms. Perfect! Come on yaar.. U south he south, He is in top 3 in score board and u top 5, and I have seen many a times he tries to brush with you during the house events( he must have done it unintentionally but Rags and her interpretations!!)
Be a sport and try your hand. Live up to the expectations. Let everyone see the other side of you…!! She just sounded as if she was spilling some magical dust on me and I was really falling for her. THE OTHER SIDE!! Wow.. do I really have the other side?? I was just a kid with all those books and the characters with whom I have laughed, shared my talks, sung some silly songs, rehersed the verses…(if hanging/ going out is dating than hey lemmi tell you am already into that with all the male leads from my world of books)
Hogwash! There is no OTHER SIDE of me, I need to finish my revision for the maths assignment coming on this month and the real side of me is giving me havoc (monthly stomach ache!)
I kept six honest serving men. They taught me all I knew. Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who.
Prep Period :
Now that the Man of the hour is finalized after lots of probabilities and possibilities, Rags started to give me her self-made rules and tips. Rags and sometimes Rolly who by now made an cabal used to bug me with all crappy discussions on how to make this mission possible at any cost.(Though Rolly could not really make out on whom we were actually targeting) Every time Parathamesh walk around ,I find him near the cycle stand area I lie starry-eyes on him. I could sense something like a flush of hot blood into my face and I stammered. I wished I could send some telepathic message to him Rags was too good to hold my nerves. She warned me that I was acting as Despo and this would be a big NO for girls like us? Or for me( coz im the chosen one!). She tried to show some of the Oomphy girls in our school, how they behave, they laugh or giggle for no reason, they try those stupid gestures (I felt they are more like bimbo).
I was just pretending to be someone but not ME?(I still don’t want to show my OTHER SIDE which never existed) It was waste even to argue with Rags that such things won’t make any sense. Added to this she used to bring all those cosmetic samples which her cousin used to get for her. I used to refuse to accept as I was afraid of Mom getting annoyed with such changes coming in my life so fast and that too due to peer pressure. But soon or later I have to, coz I am growing … may be little fast or maybe little different according to her. Though she felt I was getting more organized and more selective in my wardrobe.
I have updated my playlist from old gazals to all the latest hits, soft and romantic songs with intense meaningful lyrics(although BZ,BSB,PF always flowed like liquid) Stepping out of my room has started to be little forcefully or only if needed. My love for nature grew more and more and I wished to stay for hours in my backyard garden where I used to enjoy solitude. By the end I used to run among the bushes and grass and be absolutely me, forgetting all the endeavours.
For me the mean things were magnified (eg Acne and pimples) and the most important were almost out of my focus
For me the mean things were magnified (eg Acne and pimples) and the most important were almost out of my focus
The news spread so fast that I could now sense all around me. The bong girls were taking special interest in me, sometimes pulling me into their gossip time and trying hard to know my instincts. I tell you am turning into some sort of popular girl minus required glamour. Added to this Monty Singh, a cheeky guy from class 11 and one of the other cousin of the twin sisters of my class gave an complete picture of my preference amidst the most wanted oomphy girls. His words cannot be taken less important coz he carries all the prime information needed for the hour.
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
Time to Day Dream:
“If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time” and thanks to my life which now have started to pull me into race… “ survival of the fittest”(fit to be the bimbo!)
I dreamed only in the Utopia. My imagination of hanging out with the characters(Male lead) would shamelessly shift according to the books and plots I go through. I was a wanderer in my own imagination with no clue from those fairy tales. I believed they were true, the do existed. Now my nights turned little different , I either dance, sing or coochi cooo. with my new found affair (although I could hardly remember if it was exactly the same one I was trying to hit soon!!) But the feeling itself was so tad Euphoric . Nights went with intuitional dreams and days with intentional day dreaming. I was dreaming all day leaving aside my routine activities, I was bodily present but soul flying out somewhere. Mom was getting suspicious with my sheepish grins every now while I was in my room. Things were not the same, I was in total hallucination.
Days were rolling fast out in the world and slow in my mind. Since last October,Lucky Ali’s concert with some popular local live band ,I made to the show with rest of rabid music lovers from my class without my parents permission!!(although I did confessed later when I was about to get caught!) and I hope I may connect you all one day with those exciting events in which I am still holding to say O my school days are so much fun! After that there was nothing much to be called as exciting.. Life was going very routine. This whole affair really did added some zing to the lazy days.
Overall it was DREAMZ UNLIMITED!!!(until unless either Rags/mom/or something more scary voice pulls me back into the world)
Jaise parabat pe, ghataa zookatee hain
jaise saagar se, lahar uthhatee hain
ayese kisee chehare pe, nigaah rukatee hain
rok naheen sakatee najaron ko duniyaan bhar kee rasmein Go Bonkers!!
Feb 13:
Pehla nasha Pehla khumaar Naya pyaar hai naya intezaar Kar loon main kya apna haal Aye dil-e-bekaraar Mere dil-e-bekaraar
That was the day when I felt like I have gobbled up 10 banana splits all at a time and of course butterflies in my tummy and I was acting more like a Gypsie. As we were having assignements from 16th onwards, Keshav sir has announced preparation holidays for us, so the class strength was very thin and who ever turned up were rushing towards Library or to staff room to finish with their notes and doubt clarifications. And as we were having half day school we were supposed to reach by 7:30 and by 2:30 the home bell rings. I made an early attendance into my class and I could barely find any one except the soiled benches , left over clutter all around and yesterday’s civics lesson on the green board. I was lost in whirlpool of doubts, fears, emotional bouts. My mind was boggling with loads of queries. My inner voice made an image out and stood just in front of me and I tell you it was a moment I was really making some sensible talk after a long tic tock .
So wazzup lassie? Big time uh? So ur into this? O wow hi5 coz ur are officially part of this galaxy!! So you have a crush(fake) , dat too on an crème-de-la-crème of school with impish looks, genuine affability or with candid hints . And where did you learn all this monkey gymnastics?
Do all teens get these kinda of goosebumps? Who is this boy? Why am I trying to hook him? If I am provoked why am I losing control on my senses? I do admire him for his glory and victory but why am I falling for him (minus platonic element)
My heart was beating and I was sweating profusely. Do I really like him or is it some sort of infatuation? In my case I don’t agree for either of them… He is not my 1st love.. Infact I don’t even know what love is… I some where read Love can be anything and it is the reason to find and know oneself. Mom always used to say never let the devil dwell your mind, but if love is god and if love/like is in my mind it means God is with me??!So I can’t be wrong
I started to construct things according to my own favor. Who knows who is going to be forever.. Live life king size… and I patted myself pushing my inner voice back into its body!
It was already prayer time and my eyes were searching for the guy im thinking all these days just like a parent searching for his kid if lost in a fair, it seems class 11 did not joined the assembly.
The day started as routine with few in library and few making plans how to make this day possibly well and affirmative. It was recess when Rags caught hold of me and tucked a bunch of wilted roses in my hand to make it look as if I have already got roses and im still running on thinking mill.
Dared 2 Date!!
Roses n pricks…
Far in the ground I could spot Prathamesh ,he was grossly involved in his notes. I took a 3-4 breaths, wetted my lips which were already extra coated with strawberry flavored lipstick and moved steadily towards him. I proceeded, I did for that moment had a second thought, to be or not to be!! It vanished in thin air. I did tu rned back to check if Rags would be visible in the vicinity. I was almost about to reach him and I could sense I am about to fall in his sight and he would give me a glance and understand that I have finally came to …. I tried to make an confident impression, held the roses tightly so that the sight of them would make him understand, that I came for him and it’s his turn to make the move.I was about 6 feet away from him,there was some unusual confidence in me, everything just went blank and I could only see him leaning over the wall, and and and Holy shark! What da…****(which just came out of total failure of my own move). It was just Prathamesh I was expecting but how did this thing happened, where did she come from? And Rags said..this girl the so called girlfriend or the so called “may fall off as hot potato any time” or the so called Ms. Mayuri Natrajan turned into this scene. I was startled. Everything was going into hell and this character was not in my plan( I cursed Rags 1000 times for not making me prepare for any alternative plan) It was total weird-absurd moment for me. I was totally dumbstruck and I need to think fast. Coz by then she must have already got idea that I came to talk to Prathamesh and what will she be thinking now and what if she makes fun of me saying that I was trying to grab someone’s boyfriend and she will surely make a topic for her gossips and I will be made the prime target. I need to show my OTHER SIDE!!
Holy shit! What am I thinking, I was still passing them, I could sense her from the corner of my eye . Few steps more not towards the one I was to talk to but just heading straight. Oh great so what? I lost the chance, so what I did not talk to him, by now he must have understood but his control freak girlfriend ‘s presence must be stopping him to rescue me. I walked few steps and took an 180 degree turn while doing I have thrown a glance on circle of guys who were busy playing video game just behind to my target. I did gave a look towards the twosome(Prathamesh and Mayuri) and I could by now read they were giving some strange looks. I stopped for a second and turned towards the guys circle who were totally in their own world . I felt jitters, but I need to think fast. The moment I saw the boys circle I found someone, someone who can save me from this embarrassment .”Hello (adjusting my voice and wetting my dry lips).. hmm haii… ii II.. I.. (I broke their concentration ) Haiii… hmmm with a weak smile I wiped my mouth with my hand and.. Haiii this time little louder…Now I can see him, I know this guy.. OO yaa I know this guy.. he is he is… think think think… I saw him I saw him.. where? Where?! (god! I wish I had this hobby for watching guys like Rags…) Yes .. dats it.. I saw him on the ground.. the cricket match.. yes! he is the very tall lean guy , I witnessed his raw, powerful and unleashed emotion on that day.. when his team was winning the match and .. Yes he is the very same guy.. and I am just in front of him… It’s not something mandatory that to who ever we give rose it means we are going to be the hot twosome..(I don’t remember any such rule from Rags) Now the horrible part was the silence after that hai and hello from my side, coz the guys have no idea why I approached them and what would be my next move. Meanwhile I did an hard try to remember his name.. He is some.. Chauhan… Chauhan.. Now.. which chauhan?… I know there are 7 more with the same surname.. I need a name.. the exact name which suits this Chauhan… Adi.. nope, Suresh Nope… I don’t even know which class or section he is from… It must be some suraj? Nooo Anuj.. I think it is Anuj.. “Anuj chauhan”.. yes…. Dats it.. he is Anuj Chauhan and now what?? Everyone stood still, though I did sense Mayuri was curious to know what this whole drama is about… Hai… Anuj Chau.. I havn’t finished his name and he gave me attitude gaze.The other guys spread little far not knowing what the next scene is all about. “This is for you.. and I gave him one of those wilted rose , and I smiled..If it’s possible lets meet near the C-block at 10:30 tomorrow (I was suppose to say this to Prathamesh!) Bye…and I ran. I ran off as fast as I can and no looking back, no regrets … with no idea what have I actually done. Screw up Prathamesh and your girl .I did what I never ever thought to. But I did something which no one must have thought I could possibly do!!
I ran back to class to get back my bag, pushed my stuff into my bag lying on my bench, wait a second.. I just found few fresh red roses with nicely written tag… Guess who??!!(What nonsense. Do I need to work on this now..) and I ran towards cycle stand taking other way. I left school as fast I can and peddled as if I was in a race.
The moment I reached home, I was sweating like a dog , my legs started to feel the pain, o I doubt I may have a muscle cramp.. I made the fan oscillations high and fell on the sofa, my bag was beneath my back. Mom too must have just got back from office and the moment she saw me, she came with icy chocolate milk shake, I drank as if I never had it from ages mom wiped my milk mustaches and I asked :Mom … Is love blind??
Mom without second thought answered back… Yup my child…I accept Love is Blind, coz I started loving you even before I saw your face and saying that she embraced her in my arms.
The moment I reached home, I was sweating like a dog , my legs started to feel the pain, o I doubt I may have a muscle cramp.. I made the fan oscillations high and fell on the sofa, my bag was beneath my back. Mom too must have just got back from office and the moment she saw me, she came with icy chocolate milk shake, I drank as if I never had it from ages mom wiped my milk mustaches and I asked :Mom … Is love blind??
Mom without second thought answered back… Yup my child…I accept Love is Blind, coz I started loving you even before I saw your face and saying that she embraced her in my arms.
I have least remembered what I did few hours back in school. I asked mom to sleep with me that night on my single cot as somehow now I felt lonely to sleep alone may be I am not going to get any more dreams which anyways are not going to make any sense since afternoon drama. I woke up in mid of sleep as I could not feel my mother’s warmth, I checked for mom and I found her in her room. It was just 3 in the morning and I tried to get back to sleep. I was not able to sleep.. something was keeping me awake. I checked time again and I could read out the date…
Feb 14th!!! OOOppssssss… Now what…. I screwed up the very before day.. and now.. it’s this completely strange guy… what did I think of myself… Went ahead asked for a DATE??!!... Ms. Usha … r u like nuts.. What was all this? What if this guy already have a girlfriend? What if he does not have and he is least interested? What if he won’t turn up? I have no idea who this so called Anuj was, except that I saw him on that day playing that game which I don’t even like… What if he is a doper? Rags was saying me the other day that some guys from class 12 especially the local guys are dopers… OO no he can’t be doper.. coz he is a sports guy and they are health freaks… All thoughts were running like wild horses… I stood, I could feel the sweat of my sole, I sat down on my cot, there was some twitching feeling, I lie flat on the cot, I could gaped at the fan rotating in slow speed and it was giving me dizzy feeling. Oh I got back and checked the time.. Shall I call? I need someone to talk to.. and where the hell Rags disappeared? Why didn’t she called me yet? Is it something in her plan, that if I screwup she won’t show up?There was some sort of guilt that made me feel I have fooled someone to save myself from nosecut! How about Ranjan ?OO I can’t call ranjan.. especially when he is far away for his NDA training and I need to wait till tomorrow(Sunday). How about Bhaiyya.. oo jezz !no ways.. he will kill me if he knows, that his kid sister is upto such an act… Mom! I speak to mom.. oo no.. I can’t.. She has blind faith and love for me.. what will she think
I hanged my head down and I hated to even think anymore. It was 4:30 and I m no way going to sleep, so I got back to my math revision. We got math assignment on Monday and I really don’t want to screw my score.. aa uhh No ways.. anything but nt my grades… When I made my mind I always succeed in completing and so as my revision which went successfully till7:30. I fell back to sleep again. Mom tried to wake me up at 9:00 sharp. I was tired (I was trying too many thinking caps!!). Mom asked me if I am staying back home or I need to go to school(though I don’t need to as we already got preparation holiday), I was confused. I am going to school Mom,no need of lunch box as ill be back soon. Mom turned to me holding the phone receiver .Usha did u left complaint in telephone office? It’s still not working… OOOO noo.. I have totally forgot about the phone that it’s not working for the past 3 days and mom was not getting time to place an complaint and me , moron was not getting time to come out of dreams… Rags must have tried calling since evening.
Get set go…
9:30
Mom left to office and I was alone and now what? I have to go to school to meet him? Or do I drop this idea? Poor guy what if he comes? What will he think if I don’t turn up? Why should I waste his time, he may be engaged up somewhere and he may come taking time just because I called him to meet?? That’s it. Above all he saved me from the biggest embarrassment that could have happened so what ever it happens happens.. Now? I turned to my closet, the only dress that fell in my sight was light blue full sleeved, salwar kameez, with that soft, chiffon light pink dupatta with small bells on the edges. Mom has stitched for Pongal last month and I was actually dreaming to wear it on this day again just in case if things have gone perfectly.Ironically I have to wear the very same dress for some Mr…. whatever, for not exactly to be called as DATE nor we will be the most talked about twosome.
Finally I left to school, try to locate where this so called C-block is (we normally don’t stroll near C-block which is very specially for these kind of affairs. Young boys and girls deeply infatuated, or the everlasting love they call.. will spend their private moments just behind this C-block which is unofficially an spot for lovelorn!! And in such a place I am trying to locate myself.
The already couples who can’t afford hi fi spots for privacy have to adjust to this place. One guy was holding hand of his girl and the girl was pushing him, the other couple were busy in exchanging gifts, one more couple were totally in their world of love ignoring the passer-by(me!) Everyone were looking extremely pretty and at their best outfit. Nylon shirts with tiny floral motifs,DKNY tank tops, jeans and sleeveless kurties. What an wonder full sight to describe.If Rags would be here we both would have blasting time in watching all these lovelorns.(I wonder with whom Rags would be hanging right now)
Though I was feeling little discomfort I still managed to have free entertainment. It was already 10:40.. (and as per Rags the girl who makes at right time is a despo.. if in case we come early we need to hide somewhere and wait till the boy comes and make him wait 10-15 more mins)
I erased all those conversations and happily watched world full of cupid strung!! Far from the c-block I could hear a loud Moped sound reaching directly into the C-block, the sound almost disturbed the whole climate, but who cares. I was standing beneath the pine tree on which two birds were busy coochi-cooing (OO love is in the air!!) I could see him searching for the exact face which he had seen just yesterday in school. I was really thankful for his arrival but sad that he really turned up and now my duty to face him became more crucial.
He was in his white n white uniform, soiled canvas shoes, a sports wrist band, sharp face with that small patch of beard ,dripping in sweat, his shirt unbuttoned and flying open, revealing his washboard chest and his athletic abdomen.(I really have to gulp to keep exclamation down)
To make the encounter fast and easy I just walked ahead and while he was trying to lock his moped to a tree bark(!!?
Hai…I greeted after gathering strands of strength. He gave me a just a second look and turned towards me… Haiiiiii, I said again. He reciprocated the same. I have thrown a look on my wrist, moreover to show him he was late and I was waiting for him.. OOO Rathod sir aaj practice lambi liyaa. Meri spin achi nahi arahi hein aur saala mera dimag bahut garam hogaya , Ek bhi wicket kalti nahi kaarahi…*****, aur Mahesh bhi saalaa.. ****saying this he turned to me… and I was in complete shock… what was he saying… Did he abused me?? Or someone? What on earth was that language ??? Excuse me!!! I was speechless… Usha…. What on earth have you called to meet? He is totally not your type. His voice, his vocabulary, his body language everything was so earthy… He just came to sense and he waved his hand , Hello… ooo Hello… Kya naam hein teera??! Mine?? “Usha?? Heinaaa” he said.. yaa.. Hindi aathii hein?? Yaa ayess ayess.. Engless.??. Baath karni thi naa.. tuu ne hi tho bola ya naa.. thooo.. His voice was so demanding and making me sweat. I tried to get some voice out of my mouth.. Actually I wanted to say that…. OOO.. baath karni hein tho.. seedhi meri boli mei bol varna.. mei bolunga aur tuu sunegi…Samjhi! I nodded my head like a nursery kid.
Feb 14th!!! OOOppssssss… Now what…. I screwed up the very before day.. and now.. it’s this completely strange guy… what did I think of myself… Went ahead asked for a DATE??!!... Ms. Usha … r u like nuts.. What was all this? What if this guy already have a girlfriend? What if he does not have and he is least interested? What if he won’t turn up? I have no idea who this so called Anuj was, except that I saw him on that day playing that game which I don’t even like… What if he is a doper? Rags was saying me the other day that some guys from class 12 especially the local guys are dopers… OO no he can’t be doper.. coz he is a sports guy and they are health freaks… All thoughts were running like wild horses… I stood, I could feel the sweat of my sole, I sat down on my cot, there was some twitching feeling, I lie flat on the cot, I could gaped at the fan rotating in slow speed and it was giving me dizzy feeling. Oh I got back and checked the time.. Shall I call? I need someone to talk to.. and where the hell Rags disappeared? Why didn’t she called me yet? Is it something in her plan, that if I screwup she won’t show up?There was some sort of guilt that made me feel I have fooled someone to save myself from nosecut! How about Ranjan ?OO I can’t call ranjan.. especially when he is far away for his NDA training and I need to wait till tomorrow(Sunday). How about Bhaiyya.. oo jezz !no ways.. he will kill me if he knows, that his kid sister is upto such an act… Mom! I speak to mom.. oo no.. I can’t.. She has blind faith and love for me.. what will she think
I hanged my head down and I hated to even think anymore. It was 4:30 and I m no way going to sleep, so I got back to my math revision. We got math assignment on Monday and I really don’t want to screw my score.. aa uhh No ways.. anything but nt my grades… When I made my mind I always succeed in completing and so as my revision which went successfully till7:30. I fell back to sleep again. Mom tried to wake me up at 9:00 sharp. I was tired (I was trying too many thinking caps!!). Mom asked me if I am staying back home or I need to go to school(though I don’t need to as we already got preparation holiday), I was confused. I am going to school Mom,no need of lunch box as ill be back soon. Mom turned to me holding the phone receiver .Usha did u left complaint in telephone office? It’s still not working… OOOO noo.. I have totally forgot about the phone that it’s not working for the past 3 days and mom was not getting time to place an complaint and me , moron was not getting time to come out of dreams… Rags must have tried calling since evening.
9:30
Mom left to office and I was alone and now what? I have to go to school to meet him? Or do I drop this idea? Poor guy what if he comes? What will he think if I don’t turn up? Why should I waste his time, he may be engaged up somewhere and he may come taking time just because I called him to meet?? That’s it. Above all he saved me from the biggest embarrassment that could have happened so what ever it happens happens.. Now? I turned to my closet, the only dress that fell in my sight was light blue full sleeved, salwar kameez, with that soft, chiffon light pink dupatta with small bells on the edges. Mom has stitched for Pongal last month and I was actually dreaming to wear it on this day again just in case if things have gone perfectly.Ironically I have to wear the very same dress for some Mr…. whatever, for not exactly to be called as DATE nor we will be the most talked about twosome.
Finally I left to school, try to locate where this so called C-block is (we normally don’t stroll near C-block which is very specially for these kind of affairs. Young boys and girls deeply infatuated, or the everlasting love they call.. will spend their private moments just behind this C-block which is unofficially an spot for lovelorn!! And in such a place I am trying to locate myself.
The already couples who can’t afford hi fi spots for privacy have to adjust to this place. One guy was holding hand of his girl and the girl was pushing him, the other couple were busy in exchanging gifts, one more couple were totally in their world of love ignoring the passer-by(me!) Everyone were looking extremely pretty and at their best outfit. Nylon shirts with tiny floral motifs,DKNY tank tops, jeans and sleeveless kurties. What an wonder full sight to describe.If Rags would be here we both would have blasting time in watching all these lovelorns.(I wonder with whom Rags would be hanging right now)
Though I was feeling little discomfort I still managed to have free entertainment. It was already 10:40.. (and as per Rags the girl who makes at right time is a despo.. if in case we come early we need to hide somewhere and wait till the boy comes and make him wait 10-15 more mins)
I erased all those conversations and happily watched world full of cupid strung!! Far from the c-block I could hear a loud Moped sound reaching directly into the C-block, the sound almost disturbed the whole climate, but who cares. I was standing beneath the pine tree on which two birds were busy coochi-cooing (OO love is in the air!!) I could see him searching for the exact face which he had seen just yesterday in school. I was really thankful for his arrival but sad that he really turned up and now my duty to face him became more crucial.
He was in his white n white uniform, soiled canvas shoes, a sports wrist band, sharp face with that small patch of beard ,dripping in sweat, his shirt unbuttoned and flying open, revealing his washboard chest and his athletic abdomen.(I really have to gulp to keep exclamation down)
To make the encounter fast and easy I just walked ahead and while he was trying to lock his moped to a tree bark(!!?
Hai…I greeted after gathering strands of strength. He gave me a just a second look and turned towards me… Haiiiiii, I said again. He reciprocated the same. I have thrown a look on my wrist, moreover to show him he was late and I was waiting for him.. OOO Rathod sir aaj practice lambi liyaa. Meri spin achi nahi arahi hein aur saala mera dimag bahut garam hogaya , Ek bhi wicket kalti nahi kaarahi…*****, aur Mahesh bhi saalaa.. ****saying this he turned to me… and I was in complete shock… what was he saying… Did he abused me?? Or someone? What on earth was that language ??? Excuse me!!! I was speechless… Usha…. What on earth have you called to meet? He is totally not your type. His voice, his vocabulary, his body language everything was so earthy… He just came to sense and he waved his hand , Hello… ooo Hello… Kya naam hein teera??! Mine?? “Usha?? Heinaaa” he said.. yaa.. Hindi aathii hein?? Yaa ayess ayess.. Engless.??. Baath karni thi naa.. tuu ne hi tho bola ya naa.. thooo.. His voice was so demanding and making me sweat. I tried to get some voice out of my mouth.. Actually I wanted to say that…. OOO.. baath karni hein tho.. seedhi meri boli mei bol varna.. mei bolunga aur tuu sunegi…Samjhi! I nodded my head like a nursery kid.
( for the narration sake ill make it in English)
So why did you called me here? Do you actually know who I am?(as if he was don) I tried to act smart.. yaa.. You are Anuj and you play for our school.. OO hello I not only play but I am student of this school and tell me of which class I am in? he asked . That was more easy.. I said.. class 12th.. and which section?? I gave a weak smile. Hey wait listen, I tried to interrupt, Nooo u listen… What do you think I don’t know anything? I know everything, you came to talk to that.. who was that??? Parathamesh,right.. what do you think I am fool or what? something happened and you walked to me and gave that silly rose and asked to meet. What is all this.. Fun for you? The kind of girl you are?? Now this is it.. the word he uttered really touched the tigress in me and I was totally in attack pose, Wait will you let me speak.. I I , I stammered..(my eyes started to wet) Do you know I always thought you are not like the other girls. My friends told me everything, the whole school knows that you and that lad(laundiya) will make this year. Half of my class were ready to ask you but they have to backoff because they thought u may end up their tale in front of your dad?( now where did my dad come from?) but look at you.. you yourself have invited me to… Now imagine what image you will have now…? I still tried to make my talk but the tears now turned into dam and the dam is about to break… Please stop it lemmi I started sobbing, then tears rolled and flowed and flooded all over my face. My nose turned red, eyes red, ears red… and im all wet! Don’t know what made him stop( my groaning obviously!) and he ran and got back with his kerchief and water. Meanwhile between the sobs and hiccups,I was wiping my face staining my dress sleeves. He was just standing and trying to console me. I wantedly avoided and turned the other side. I just glanced around and by then I did catch up few sympathy type stares. Hey hold it, drink some water, he forcibly hand it to me. I took with little fear and little arrogance and began to narrate my own version.” I really did not want this to happen. I just came to say thanks for saving from that embarrassment and apologize me for pulling you into this mess. I just came to explain you but”.. hic hic… and still more hics “and you are not even giving me moment to speak.If you had problem then why did you turn up, you know I am waiting here since 10:00 and you how royally you came late!! I am not that kind of girl nor I have any interest in guys”.Good for you, he added. Later part was pretty unexpected from his side, he sounded more fatherly, matured than his age and he really wasn’t that bad the way he started with. Though it was total disastrous but me and Anuj did made the twosome… We both became good friends though it was not officially accepted , but who cares.. Anuj gifted me his sports band as friendship band and I had nothing to give except to be his friend for ever, both committed to our own way of keeping this bond… though rags sometimes did used to dig in saying.. U both still friends??
So why did you called me here? Do you actually know who I am?(as if he was don) I tried to act smart.. yaa.. You are Anuj and you play for our school.. OO hello I not only play but I am student of this school and tell me of which class I am in? he asked . That was more easy.. I said.. class 12th.. and which section?? I gave a weak smile. Hey wait listen, I tried to interrupt, Nooo u listen… What do you think I don’t know anything? I know everything, you came to talk to that.. who was that??? Parathamesh,right.. what do you think I am fool or what? something happened and you walked to me and gave that silly rose and asked to meet. What is all this.. Fun for you? The kind of girl you are?? Now this is it.. the word he uttered really touched the tigress in me and I was totally in attack pose, Wait will you let me speak.. I I , I stammered..(my eyes started to wet) Do you know I always thought you are not like the other girls. My friends told me everything, the whole school knows that you and that lad(laundiya) will make this year. Half of my class were ready to ask you but they have to backoff because they thought u may end up their tale in front of your dad?( now where did my dad come from?) but look at you.. you yourself have invited me to… Now imagine what image you will have now…? I still tried to make my talk but the tears now turned into dam and the dam is about to break… Please stop it lemmi I started sobbing, then tears rolled and flowed and flooded all over my face. My nose turned red, eyes red, ears red… and im all wet! Don’t know what made him stop( my groaning obviously!) and he ran and got back with his kerchief and water. Meanwhile between the sobs and hiccups,I was wiping my face staining my dress sleeves. He was just standing and trying to console me. I wantedly avoided and turned the other side. I just glanced around and by then I did catch up few sympathy type stares. Hey hold it, drink some water, he forcibly hand it to me. I took with little fear and little arrogance and began to narrate my own version.” I really did not want this to happen. I just came to say thanks for saving from that embarrassment and apologize me for pulling you into this mess. I just came to explain you but”.. hic hic… and still more hics “and you are not even giving me moment to speak.If you had problem then why did you turn up, you know I am waiting here since 10:00 and you how royally you came late!! I am not that kind of girl nor I have any interest in guys”.Good for you, he added. Later part was pretty unexpected from his side, he sounded more fatherly, matured than his age and he really wasn’t that bad the way he started with. Though it was total disastrous but me and Anuj did made the twosome… We both became good friends though it was not officially accepted , but who cares.. Anuj gifted me his sports band as friendship band and I had nothing to give except to be his friend for ever, both committed to our own way of keeping this bond… though rags sometimes did used to dig in saying.. U both still friends??
To the smartest girl I know, Will you be my Valantine?4ever?
Love,
Guess who?
Till date this “Guess who” remained a mystery as Im very dim in guessing and more over enough with the thinking caps.. Who ever it is must have passed through the same euphoria as I did…..
There are 2 types of enjoyments…. 1 is being with a friend.. The other is being with the memories of friend…I miss U but never your memories…
The complete one year I spent in that new school gave me wonderful memories ahead to sooth my nostalgia , the file that removes the rough edges from the good old days…My school days…
Take a U turn,Usha’s teenhood ahead.... let ur hair down and chill!!
Back to square one
Feb 23:
The assignments were one such event which blows real nerves of my class. Normally my class which was quite famous for its antics, with the announcement of assignment results really created an unusual depression among us. All the crammers, gave a good shot and it was pretty visible in their grades. 1st and 3rd by the Twin sisters (Courtesy hyper mugging caliber) ,Tunga Vel has to settle between those hefty scorers(2nd place).. I have made an decent crawl from 4th to 3rd.. (Thanks to Hari sir who have finally laid his weapons(pen,hands down) after my 15 minutes fight for 2 extra marks for beautifying answer sheet!), Onu, Snehal, Madhavi, Rumpa, Sanjay( an new and quite a unexpected entry), Harish,(score stopper), and Rags!! took over the respective ranks in order . Rags indeed was not in good moods since then (Cancerians’ and their mood swings Uffff). It’s not that she behaves this way all the time, but this time it’s something really unusual, or should I call she was literally pissing me off with her attitude and cold stares.
Seriously it’s been a week and I know rags from the past one year, no week goes without her tantrums and maintaining distance with me but I know how to calm her down and bring back to the usual Rags mode. I used to lure her with my Tiffin box or calling her to join grand meal along with my family and things get back to normal. Initially I thought may be her fall of grades (she used to be between 5-6th position ) but grades for Rags are like fetching moon and stars from the sky, and they are just decorative pieces. I did tried to talk to her in this regard (she harshly asked me to MIND MY BUSINESS in front of all the class), if not grades, what else? I called and visited her house few times meanwhile, but every time, either she is out to Church or was sleeping. I had no other option but to remain calm and wait for her to come for an open talk. Meanwhile the tuitions, laws of physics, the stale Mathematical theories and crazy shit chemical reactions were making everyone difficult to breath. But I did managed to meet Anuj but this time along with our families (by making him meet my parents have decreased my guilt of whatever I did past week), Ranjan was planning to go home as he was falling sick, Dittu Bhaiyya was going on his first trip to US for his company project, and monu bhaiyya was having gala time in Hyderabad.
Seriously it’s been a week and I know rags from the past one year, no week goes without her tantrums and maintaining distance with me but I know how to calm her down and bring back to the usual Rags mode. I used to lure her with my Tiffin box or calling her to join grand meal along with my family and things get back to normal. Initially I thought may be her fall of grades (she used to be between 5-6th position ) but grades for Rags are like fetching moon and stars from the sky, and they are just decorative pieces. I did tried to talk to her in this regard (she harshly asked me to MIND MY BUSINESS in front of all the class), if not grades, what else? I called and visited her house few times meanwhile, but every time, either she is out to Church or was sleeping. I had no other option but to remain calm and wait for her to come for an open talk. Meanwhile the tuitions, laws of physics, the stale Mathematical theories and crazy shit chemical reactions were making everyone difficult to breath. But I did managed to meet Anuj but this time along with our families (by making him meet my parents have decreased my guilt of whatever I did past week), Ranjan was planning to go home as he was falling sick, Dittu Bhaiyya was going on his first trip to US for his company project, and monu bhaiyya was having gala time in Hyderabad.
With the Board exam date announcement, the crammers did extra more cramming with extra sleepless nights, some took it coolly and some just mugged only the marks fetching notes.
Feb 27:
Farewell party for the seniors. Though I made a late entry but left early as Rags did not turn up. The Bong Gang caught me near the entrance and trying to know what was going with me and Rags. They were trying to put fake concern, overall it was almost a matter for their senseless gupshup.” Ishhhhhh babaaa.. She always does this..All the year she made you dance to her tunes and now she is putting you in default list. Till last year it was that Dipesh Guupta and now that he left so it is on you!” She had soft corner for this Dipu while he did not reciprocated so she declared him as his brother.. Offffoo..Raagini aur uske Nakhareyyy.. There should be some Leemit naaa”Shubu smacking her head tried to add some fuel and rest of her gang joined in chorus. I hardly made any response which they were expecting , I don’t have anything to say to anyone specific but “when we point at someone don’t forget that rest of the fingers do point at us”.shubu must have forgotten that how cruelly she takes things for granted and fools around with the one who show their concern. (Anuj mentioned me about how she was taking undue advantage of his friend and his sympathy for her ill health)
Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I reached home ,I saw mom and dad engaged in some discussion. Dad finally gave out the news and I reacted in despair.
Nights always have a deeper significance when you get all those creepy voices echoed.
That night I could hardly sleep. Many thoughts, everything and anything but finally would settle around Rags and me. From day 1 in the new school, how I met her, how things went, events, though we never made an dynamic duo still I had best of best days with her. I never knew how I have acclimatized to this new school and it ‘s already one year! I tried to recollect all the pleasant, ugly, never thought of, embarrassing moments.Somewhere from deep inside my heart I felt the trauma of getting separated. I ran to the main room to reach to dial. It’s almost 1:00 and I really wanted to talk to her. It’s not that I never tried calling her for the past one week but someone else are taking the call and disappointing me.
I dialed, Engaged. I dialed again… Engage….(to hell with this call!)
Just the moment I turned to leave the room Tringgg tringg… phone rang… I lifted …. Hello… hello… silence.. No one was answering.. Cut.
Dad just came out of bedroom to check the call… I stood holding the receiver.
I tried to switch off the light, dad walked towards me and he made me sit next to him. It was tete-a-tete with him after many days.” Usha , beta I am really sorry but it is this way… You are a big girl now and more over you have adapted to every new place and you never made any fuss about it, so ….and he paused…. “Dad Why do we fall in love more purely, and forgive all flaws, when separation steps in? I have shooted out straight from my heart and my voice broke.I hugged him . I really don’t have any option but to accept things as they are.
Acceptance is to suffering as realization is to spirituality.
Feb 28th:
Keshav sir has arranged for an seminar by an eminent student counselor who came to guide us with different courses and institutions related to it. Class 10-12th were assembled. All the students queries were answered patiently by the speaker, most of the course related doubts came from class 12th especially from those who were meticulously preparing for IIT entrance and ofcourse, Tungavel could not stop himself to join the wagon of pre IIT ians..
The speaker finally made an interactive session with all the future aspirants.
1st row was class 10th starting from twin sisters, who have already announced that they would be taking commerce to pursue MBA from AMITY, then came the bong gang who were mostly thinking to go for teaching courses and those who topped in History and Geo(especially the mugging morons)were planning for attempts in UPSC, Rupesh(Mr. Flirty) started to express his love for sky and sky is not the limit, He wanted to be Commercial Pilot( I see it the other way!), the oomphy girls boosted their love for modeling and for beauty pagents( beauty with no brains!) batting their eye lashes and with extra plastic smiles.
When it was my turn “ well err.. I love science and reading books so I think I prefer something out of it” and without much expressions i handed the mic to the Tunga Vel( who seems much excited ! either the chance to sit next to me or because he already had all the required information regarding his subjects, his aims, his sources, and instead of asking he himself was giving enough details to that poor student counselor!), after that few more spoke and the last one in my row was Ragini De’silva.. 10 B (Yes u heard it right, after a long time I too just remembered her full name after she mentioned it) Most of my family members are from medical fraternity, so I would like to go with it… Once I finish I will do free service(I already knew about this since one year)… Pause… and the other girl behind was trying to drag the mic , “OO I will never marry.. and I hate men!!”(The girl who was trying to take over the mic was clueless after that statement) The speaker too had no idea in which way she has got that statement.. I bent forward to check out Rags expressions.(She was stationary but I can read her eyes, they were soggy)
When it was my turn “ well err.. I love science and reading books so I think I prefer something out of it” and without much expressions i handed the mic to the Tunga Vel( who seems much excited ! either the chance to sit next to me or because he already had all the required information regarding his subjects, his aims, his sources, and instead of asking he himself was giving enough details to that poor student counselor!), after that few more spoke and the last one in my row was Ragini De’silva.. 10 B (Yes u heard it right, after a long time I too just remembered her full name after she mentioned it) Most of my family members are from medical fraternity, so I would like to go with it… Once I finish I will do free service(I already knew about this since one year)… Pause… and the other girl behind was trying to drag the mic , “OO I will never marry.. and I hate men!!”(The girl who was trying to take over the mic was clueless after that statement) The speaker too had no idea in which way she has got that statement.. I bent forward to check out Rags expressions.(She was stationary but I can read her eyes, they were soggy)
What is going on, that can’t be my friend Rags I thought... “OO maa.. buddhi nahi hein”… I could hear Onu whispering, giggling, more whispers and more giggles(What’s rong with these girls? Don’t they care to understand anyone’s feelings… standardizing everyone on one view!!)
People say Never expect anything in return from anyone, but the truth is when we really like someone, we naturally expect little care from them!!
Came out like Oasis:
March 4th:
Shubu invited everyone for her B’day party in Raghu Dada’s canteen who makes wonderful Pav bhajee at reasonable rates..(with extra dollops of butter and extra plate bhajee and garnish) Dada’s canteen always welcomed huge to petty events. The ambiance of his canteen is no less than any famous hi fi food joints in town that can provide us. Shubu ‘s B’day came out more as stress buster to all my mates, moreover this would be the last B’day party before Board exams or may be for me….
The B’day girl was looking quite a rock star with all the junk accessories. The music was really gearing our moods. After the cake cut, she ordered for the yummy food. Meanwhile guys left the ladies from Mars!
Madhavi casually started spin the bottle and this rose eeriness all over. Confessions came as spark. Onu confessed how she hated Janvi’s selfish attitude when it comes to sharing notes, Madhu ripped off old wounds between hers and Dolly, Rumpa , snehal.. had their own childish confessions… B’day girl Shubu let out her confession that she secretly dated 2 guys at a time, and her inability to decide to whom to dump basing on her sympathy scale( I think Shubu must have taken my words seriously which I made on seniors party or may be she must be feeling threat from my side as I have Anuj to keep me on track). The girls ended with some “Kee Rey’s” and “Maane” with their wide big eyes. It was my turn..(No confessions) but Shubu in her ritualistic tone asked” who is you good friend here “(though she knows still ).. I shrugged .. You all are my good friends saying that I did gave a hard stare towards the corner where Rags was busy sipping frooti(it was her 4th pack and this means she is really not in good mood).
“AA chotuuuu.. Yaar aur kitna time lagegaaa.. chal naa jaldi karle… Kya saari din yehi rahana hein kyaaa..Dadaaa…”screaming I left towards Raghu Dada’s counter. I have to repay 300/- credit to Dada and I told him about the news, Dad gave me…Dada blessed me with good wishes and asked me to be more tough while bargaining (Dada knew I was very bad in bargaining and he used to give me concessions). The moment I reached back to my gang , They were busying drooling on the served Pav bhajee..hmm yummy… I was to attack on my plate, and turned to watch out for Rags (God damn I miss her even I see her around). I could not find her around, I asked Snehal who by then happily about to dip into her serve.. “Rags?? no idea yaar… I think she must have left out… She will come… U have it…”… I could not bear this anymore and walked out to search for Rags…
Raging Rags speaks:
Sanjay pointed out towards the playground and I ran to get her. The moment I reached her my ego did stopped me to talk to her. I can sense her in full temper, and the very immediate victim would be ME!.. Rags…. Heyyyy UUUU Rags… Enough yaar… Stop it… Stop hurting me… Why are you doing this… U idiot.. Do u really have any idea what you are up to? Enough pissing me and just tell me what is it god dammit.. “Rags ur nautanki has no bounds.. Spare me… and.. an simmering heat burst into volcanic eruption now.
“Excuse me! Why do u bother? Don’t act as if you care for me, OOO and for you very kind information I can take care of myself and I don’t need anyone. Goo goo go to ur GOOD FRIENDs who care and share everything with you..Rags spluttered …
Hey… Rags… please( I tried to sound chirpy and cheerful) Why are behaving like this ..Chill yaar… Rags fuming like a roaring bull ,” Now don’t try to pacify me Usha, I know your tricks” in fact I know everyone here… No one really like anyone, it is just a matter of time… I tried to retort
Infact no one likes me, nor in school nor in home nor anywhere.. Everybody are so selfish, Selfish world… she yelled in loud pitch… Rags… Oo comeon Whats the big ### ing thing.. I care about you and what you give me is.. this sort of treatment?!(The whole thing was turning ugly)
You have this goodie goodie girl image all around u, got good home, good parents, good food, oo Haaa.. GOOD FRIENDS. I don’t cum under any of those… so.. Backoff usha…Rags continued…
Rags words were like sharp glass shards piercing and giving me unbearable tension in veins..”: Rags, yaar… Up to u.. I thought we can talk. As we always did, I am clueless about what’s bothering you, im helpless as you are not opening up, im totally hurt…
I could sense Rags was panting and trying to reach her skirt pocket(she gets asthma attack whenever she gets stressed up)for the puffing machine, I ran fast to get her and helped her. I really hated to see her this way, fortunately she calmed down and she was no more confronting.
“Im sorry..ushaa.. really sorry… Im such a freak. I feel so small in front of you and for all that I said..(Now this was something I was not expecting).My parents are getting separated! Mom is taunting me every now and then as if I am blockage in her life, and Dad wants to take me away with him… There is no peace in home and I am really unable to sort this mess”. I could sense her helplessness by then.
I was trying to understand her anguish… Rags if this is your problem why didn’t you tell me? We shared best of the best moments, had smiles and laughter together, enjoyed and had unforgettable fun all together, then when it comes to misery or distress why did you put me away? Aren’t we supposed to share even the odds too? When you are in pain, you prefer to console yourself going to Church and to you granny’s home but you left me alone?? So you knew that I came to your house and inquired about you, I called you many times but you never answered!I Rags was speechless, she stared me with her cold eyes…” You know what Usha… The whole school ignores me… and if you know that I have such family conditions, I feared you too will ignore me,so before you do that I tried to move away from you…Though I tell you it is really hard, and yes I know everything about you, I feel so ashamed of myself Usha. I am really sorry for what I did, and she ended abruptly with lots of tears and sobbing. After she got control we both walked towards the canteen, and my heart was saying me to give out.. speak out my real worry.. Shall I say it now? She just got relieved from heavy pain, and if I tell her the news??... my inner voice darted out.. Err.. Rags… I have to tell you something and I simpered. She gave a half body turn with her still wet eyes/runny nose with loads of innocence… Rags…” I am leaving”… OOOOkkkkk.. she dragged her words…I mean.. I m leaving this school and all of you, means?? Means…. I m not going to continue my next year here… Dad got his transfer orders and once the board exams are over.. I am off from this place.. Whattt…?? Her words hovered. So you were right ! You never make friends because you fear that you have leave them? So that’s your biggest fear!! And now you are really scaring me. I mean… why did you? I mean… OO kk.. you win I lost…” Rags look I have no other option” I tried to re-phrase . “You do have Usha.. In fact you only have that option”(I got curious to know what that option could be) Well you keep in touch with your letters just the way you write to your best buddy…. And saying this she hugged me so tightly that I thought for a second I may get an episode…. I lifted my arms and embraced her (though little loose) and wished that peace restores in her life. The heavy air around us vanished slowly, but that moment there was too much of senti air all around.
Hey U two… That was Shubu’s voice.. What’s going around?! saying that she too joined the hug party!!(Hugs always bring out the real girl in you!)
Any space for me ladies?!… This must be Rupesh and we all three yelled in chorus at this drone and had a hearty laugh. Rags was relieved and gave me a resolution for lifetime that I have to be in contact via letters,shubu was relieved because she confessed and I was relieved that by now I can face my fear of making new friends. Coz by now I got the best, weird, bizarre samples of genuine friends, though some are still an mystery…..(Guess who?!.. OO yaar not again!)
The emptiness may be filled,
A life may start to rebuild.
A heart may be broken,
Or made to mend;
All because of that
“ Friend"
Day to depart
April 15th:
Board exams came to end and I am done with my packing…
This part is the ultimate and can be placed above all other events happened with me throughout the year. Dad already left to his newly posted city and we started later. Mom me and Prasad mamaji came to escort us to the new city
We reached airport 2 hours earlier, I was busy setting my playlist of my discman. Mamaji and mom were busy in their chit chat. All we three woke too early today so, we all three were yawing at rapid speed! The whole lounge gave a lazy look with some flipping news paper, some checking time, some dozing, with announcement and flight status board flicking.
Me and rags promised each other to keep in touch every day since she came to know when I was leaving .she even came for sleepover and we had talked all the night. I m really feeling relieved that she is fine and now that she left to her grannies place. Anuj was busy assisting his mom with sister’s delivery (Neetu di was expecting her delivery on the same day when I was departing and he promised me that he will call me soon after I reach and let me know the good news)
I was trying to get something out of my back pack and causally raised my head, and what(whom) did I see?? OOO… It’s it’s Prathamesh..The Pratamesh Iyyar?? What is he doing here?? Oo grt he was walking towards me… Don’t know but something kicked from inside and my head tilted to check if he was coming all ALONE or….
Hai…. He waved… I stood or sat (I really don’t remember!) but automatically my heartbeat became fast..(nothing much of the other kind but.. may b because of Mama Ji was around) “Heyy… What a pleasant surprise!! (I was still searching for right words).. Well.. I just came to see off my brother and found you here.. I came to know that you were leaving.. and i.. Mom just happened to join us two and introduced him to Mom and as usual she landed up with few of her common queries something about future studies(Mostly about mine!) and he was answering with utmost obedience (Gosh !he and his dishy looks). Mama and me acted like a spectator (though I was eyeing on him with my sharp gaze!) Mom finally realized that he is total Stud (she is kind of over confident that Studs don’t mess around with girls!!) Hope she thinks the same with me!! Mom and mamaji left us both in little distance.
Actually, I was actually expecting my friends, I still got 2 hours.. but you are total surprise for me.I was still saying something and he..”One second”, pointing his index finger in air and tried to get something out of his pocket… “This is for you” in a gleeful mood he forwarded nicely wrapped gift. I was happy that he bought something for me, I was little tensed about the 6 eyes (Mom/mama’s and his spects!), moreover, I sighed… This is for me??!!.. I was lured to accept but my conscious was acting reverse.”You just said ,you came to seeoff you brother and how did you thought about the gift?? I asked as if I caught him under some investigation. He was really excited to show me what he got for me, ignoring my question. Just open it.. and see what’s inside… Meanwhile I just read the note on the gift.. To the hard working Capitan to the hardly working house!! he tried to decorate my name with some heart shapes and his sign. “Sorry!! Usha.. I mean for the other day”. I was not understanding for what he was apologizing for. He gave me hint about what he was trying to say. “OOOO that day.. hahhaha That’s ok, any ways it was and will be the most funniest/weird and happiest memorable moment for me… and saying that I laughed. You know what.. I got an wonderful friend on that day “and he interrupted. Wonderful??he gave a sheepish grin. I become quite and he continued to hustle his talk. I just handed over his gift back to him.
“Ok.. cut it.. Parathamesh,anyways.. I am leaving so.. Good luck for your bright future” I tried to end that conversation, “Yaa same here, give me you ID we can b in touch” he said.. “I don’t have net access.. so im not used to this communication I said. “Ok you can atleast give me a ring right? “He sounded little irritated this time. “Yaa sure I will ..I will be in touch, I don’t have any probs with that, let me know when you will be free to receive my call” I asked casually. He smirked. I really wanted to talk to you Usha, I was pretty engaged in my preparation I thought we will meet quite frequently from this year, but you really surprised me and now you are asking about when to call? What is this with you girls? You girls knew very well that we pay “attention” to you and still you behave as if you don’t even know what is happening around! Saying that he tried to mock me, “Ny ways.. take care and I think I better leave. I really hope you will be in touch” “Hey I will Prathamesh..I will” but I really wish you think about Mayuri too… Coz she sounds pretty serious about you.. and I paused. He left. “Why do people only think about their feelings? One will never understand the worth until you lose it” I thought in mind (I mean I had no regrets! Oo especially this time.. Uh..No way)
I was expecting few of my friends as they promised me, we all had great time,it was just for few minutes but the most cherished.
Rupesh..(Mr.flirty) had gala time for his scanning those young and sizzling air hostesses(I was right, this must be the reason he was aiming to be commercial pilot !!), Onu, Janvi, rolly came to wish me with cute little teddy bear.
The last entry was..Tunga vel… he gifted me JIPMER guess question papers( yes you heard it right.. hey its Tunga vel and what else could anyone expect him ) from brilliant tutiorials. The highlight was he wrote motivational quotes in each of the page heading.(Now this is what I call gifting someone with good knowledge about the receiver’s likes and dislikes) and I am kind of suspicious with those nice calligraphic fonts which somehow resembled.. the past note… Gues…..He did mentioned all his modes of communication at the end!! E mail, landline, his hostel room no. his correspondence address in case if I miss to go through!!( That was complete indication…?!)
All we girls had our last time hug and Rupesh as usual shameless fellow did hoped scaring me more as I was worried about how will my Mamaji would take this.. Tunga vel left little deserted..(I think he really wanted to hug me but poor thing.. oohoo me and my crappy obligations.. it was just a hug yaar!!) I had an warm good bye..
The flight took off and I was completely in cherishing all those moments….Everything flashed again.. Mom did tried to keep me awake. New city, New life, New year, one more new school (11, 12) and NEW FRIENDS TO MAKE………..
“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.”
Usha still in contacts :
Anuj left to Kapurtala for his further cricket training after his 12th , He worked for some sports centers and right now is in Dubai, as cricket coach to under 15 age group. He is married and blessed with beautiful baby girl ( Sia). He always cared and had concern for Usha and he is still good friend of hers. He calls her whenever she is in need that too when unexpected…
Ragini De’silva aka Rags… as per her dream she is persuing Masters in medicine, along with working for an NGO, and Rags would be Rags… she is now dating a guy( oo don’t her serious about her oo I hate men.. blah blah long back) and the highlight is that guy is 2 years younger than her( AGE NO BAR!! All rules fade off when you are madly in love) Rags calls are quite expected even at even days(Mood swings and the immediate victim??) She goes really mad if Usha keeps her mobile off ..Peace!!!
Snehal and Janvi got married..( oo I mean to 2 different men in same town) and both are having wonderful married life..(I call them Balika Vadhu)
Rolly made to AMITY and Dolly opted for LPU..
Shubu left to Georgia , now working for some pvt firm, but basically still the same, still not able to decide whom to dump and whom to keep!! Does calls me for good gossips..
Rupesh as aspired to fly high has finally hit the sky… and as per his work, hot girls make his life more interesting( an detailed episode of him some day!)
Sanjay still keeping on complaining, and now it’s about his profession ( He wanted to be an actor but his talent is getting drained coz of his family commitments)
Tunga vel , hmmm hmmm.. Any guesses?? IIT? NIT? For sure he did somewhere..
Parathamesh!! I really don’t know where he is right now and what he is doing. The last time I heard about him as he was in MIT.
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